Inflated Job Title
What would LinkedIn call a Security Guard?
We inflated “Security Guard” through three levels of LinkedIn corporate speak.
Mild
Site Security Officer
Facility monitoring and access control
Peak LinkedIn
Perimeter Integrity & Loss Prevention Operations Specialist
Safeguarding assets and ensuring compliance with physical security protocols
Full Delusion
Chief Threat Perception Architect & VP of Standing Somewhere Looking Serious
My mere presence is a firewall made of flesh and high-visibility fabric
About This Inflation
The job title “Security Guard” is one of the most commonly inflated titles on LinkedIn. While there’s nothing wrong with the real title, LinkedIn culture has turned job titles into an arms race of corporate jargon. LinkedInflated uses AI to generate the kind of absurdly inflated titles you’d actually see in the wild — from a mild embellishment to full corporate delusion.
Try the free job title inflator to see what LinkedIn would call your real job.